There is something of a Bootstrap-Mentality in America that has been dealing major damage ever since our founding, and has only gotten worse with time. Laziness, especially in America, is perceived to be fixable (usually through self-reliance, hard work, and sometimes physical, violent discipline). And the idea of applying these methods is more palatable to the American psyche than fixing the root cause of the “Laziness” (Which is really a stand-in label for anything under the sun that someone might deem “wrong”: disabilities, or social or economic disadvantages inherited from our backgrounds,which could very well be based on race.) This country, for two centuries, has been raised on this broken ideal, which in turn, only breaks the people it is inflicted upon. Who are our countrymen too, and by beating and berating each other, we are not doing ourselves as a collective any favors. In addition, we are all human, should we not treat each other with kindness, respect, and dignity? 

With time, and discussions amongst ourselves some people are beginning the process of unlearning the self-hatred that is entwined with the roots of our nation, while uplifting the very same things that have made America a pretty decent country; these things are a sense of community, a desire for higher education, and a willingness to cross cultural divides. 

Obviously, we’ve never been great at any of this and not everybody shares these ideals. We struggle still to take these values that could benefit us so greatly and enact change with them because of the more broken ideals of our country, like the Bootstrap-Mentality. This way of thinking is so entwined with the very ideals that could help dismantle it that it becomes tricky waters to navigate. And so deeply embedded the Bootstrap-Mentality is in the hearts of fearful people everywhere in the world, not just here, that people are told from birth that they need to work hard, be an individual and support themselves, and everyone else (family, community) without expecting any help in return. That taking breaks or receiving help is a weakness and somehow wrong in the eyes of (society, God, family expectation, survival). But people might be telling us this, but it’s because they were told this by their leaders, their parents, their ‘betters’. They are living in what now is effectively an echo chamber, and often feel consumed by self-hatred, and ultimately they fear being alone and responsible too, but somehow the fear of the lie either serves them in power or helps them to comfort themself in their current state of unease. “It’s okay if I’m miserable and alone, because everyone has to go through the same thing I do. It’s fair.”

You might be miserable, but you’re not alone. Look to your left, look to your right, there is somebody. Humans cover this whole planet. Be brave, cry for help. There are kind people in the world, or people who care about you in particular who will help you. Community and love are not  weaknesses, they are our greatest strengths.